...aka my likkle sister, who started uni a few days ago. Aww, bless :) It's going to be grim. Chin up, though. You'll laugh about something every other day at least.)
It's in "not much of a particular order". Sorry.
Always keep a private supply of toilet paper, your favourite condiments, a clean plate, mug, and cutlery hidden in a shoe box somewhere in your room. There will come a point, usually in the last few weeks between the next student loan installment, when everyone will start using/nicking everyone else's stuff, without being able/arsed to replace it. The washing up WILL go through phases of not being done, and having your own eaty things to hand is dead handy. The TP especially could save your life.
Use a condom, at least until you're officially going out with someone. STD's spread fast around campus. Some have their own.
General advice: Save money wherever you can. Well duh. But here's a few tips...
...Turkey is much cheaper than chicken, and if you spice it right the only difference is a slightly more fibrous texture. Butchers and Saturday markets are usually pretty good for cheap meat, especially mince, if you're craving for flesh.
...Toast, rice and noodles will be your best friends over the next few years. Learn to cook omelettes, eggy bread, and various pasta dishes. And don't shell out on pasta sauces when you can make your own.
...Find 3 or 4 people who can cook with a modicum of skill. Cooking for 4 works out much cheaper than cooking for one, so take turns. If you've got leftovers, freeze them. Buy some cheap tupperware.
...Try and eat a banana every day. They're pretty filling, pretty cheap and as healthy a food as you can get.
...chunks of potatoes make a good substitute for meat if you can't afford much of it (and you can't). Use it liberally in stews, casseroles etc along with a paltry amount of meat.
...Lemsip is the biggest rip-off ever: It's just crushed paracetamol with lemon flavour. If you get a cold, just buy some paracetamol. Add lemon to taste.
...Cleaning products like bleach, washing up liquid, kitchen cleaner etc - the cheap stuff with a plain white label is every bit as good as the name brands, and usually less than half the price. No professional cleaner ever buys Vanish.
...Theft is kinda okay, so long as you can't afford the item yourself. Toilet paper, ashtrays and glasses can be stolen from pubs. Cutlery, mugs etc from cafes.
...kick up a fuss if anyone buys an electric heater: they're about 30p an hour. It doesn't sound like much, but if it's on for 5 hours a day it'll cost £150 in just three months. Try getting a student to save up £150 in 3 months. Not gonna happen.
...don't let your name get on the bills. Persuade some other sucker to fill in the forms, then give them the cash. ALWAYS try and pay bills by cash via someone else. Once they have your bank details, you might end up getting screwed.
...DO pay your electricity/gas bill on time. If you're late, you get fines, and you eventually get disconnected. Don't bother paying for water - legally it's an "essential" and they can't cut you off, so fuck 'em. Once you've moved house a couple of times they'll forget all about you anyway.
Living with near-strangers:
Declare things like milk, butter, salt, pepper, and cleaning products to be communal. Everyone will steal everyone elses anyway (eventually), and you don't want 6 separate bottles of milk clogging up the fridge. So take turns, and call anyone who doesn't "milk gypo" until they cave.
Best thing is to organise everyone to chip in a tenner, and buy 6 months supply of cleaning stuff and lightbulbs early on.
Befriend at least one geek, and one stacked bloke, esp when it comes time to choose housemates. The geek, because you'll need help when your lappy goes wrong and the wi-fi needs setting up, and the big chap will be handy for moving furniture and kicking out unwanted guests from house parties. If you live with them, take the bedroom next to the geek - you won't be kept awake by sex noises quite as much.
Other friends to consider making:
The rich kid - Sometime their parents will pay for the house to get sky, internet, pay off outstanding bills etc etc
The driver - Usually either a car-obsessed bloke, or a walk-lazy girl. They will come in handy when it comes to doing occasional 'big shops', moving stuff, and with any luck, picking you up when you're stuck somewhere without your wallet.
The chef - They may use 5 seperate pans for every meal, but if you're willing to wash up they can be worth knowing for the occasional culinary treat.
Avoid living with any hardcore stoners. They're great friends, but can be lousy housemates: They'll spend their money on weed first, and worry about bills later. They'll get stoned first, and tidy up later. When they haven't got any money or weed, they'll be moody and a little snappy. On the bright side, they're usually pretty docile, and can be out-argued pretty quickly.
Do NOT live with anyone who plays electric guitar/bass: preferably no musicians at all: not even someone with a bongo. Again, they make good friends, but they will start to annoy the heck out of you after the first month, no matter how good they are.
And finally, landlords are uninterested cheap cunts. This is where they shop.
4 comments:
Any moar advice? Post it below. BTW I'm aware this article is a lil' poo and disorganised and ill-thought-out, but I may well improve and add to it over time.
Geeks do have sex but its fairly quiet as they use DMA to do it in the background.
Would add, when you rent and move in, take photos of everything and date them for when you move out incase of arguments!
Oh and enjoy!
Yeah, photo the crap outta the house.
Also, try and get discounts up the wazzoo, most places will give student discount, but not advertise it.
Is everyone else now aware of which one of NostrilSoup's friends they are, and what they mean to him? I think i'm 'The Driver'!
Lloyd, I am shocked and appalled that you would think I'd choose my friends based on what I can get out of them. I WOULD, however, *consider* choosing housemates that way if I'd only known them a few months.
On an unrelated note, could you give me a lift to cuff on Wednesday?
Oh and Sam - do you have a spare hard drive jumper? I need to set one of mine to slave and I lost the old one :(
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