tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-177234752011-12-08T16:04:14.586ZHello, Good Day, and Welcome to this random collection of rants, odd questions, quotes, bloody-minded vitriol and - god help me - "humour". Like most blogs, it's a bit half-arsed and not *really* worth reading (or writing, for that matter) but I think you should exercise your persistence muscles and read on anyway.NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1251100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-13448666098850156162011-12-08T15:52:00.001Z2011-12-08T16:04:14.618Z

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NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-6123653001237485042011-09-06T19:11:00.000+01:002011-09-06T19:11:21.029+01:00

My Grandad, an old sea-dog, has an impressive memory for shanties, hymns, carols and dirty songs in general. He typed up a couple, and a googling I went for it, to see if there were any variations or missing verses available, and to my mild, very mild shock, this one doesn't seem to be on the internet yet. So for any mariners, nautical notetakers and verse-loggers out there, here is the

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-26112897428529284122011-06-10T20:45:00.004+01:002011-09-06T20:03:41.059+01:00

Now here's an idea I haven't yet found a single supporter for, and in fact have been asked to stop talking about it, its that offensive and upsetting an idea to some. But I personally don't really think it's all that immoral, if at all, especially when compared to everything else we put up with as a society. So, the idea is to genetically engineer a species or three of cats and dogs to have

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-63571079672380110322011-05-12T17:32:00.000+01:002011-05-13T21:37:44.625+01:00

Ok – it's going to be a bit shorter this week 'cos I've got 4 movies to catch up on. Ah, fuck you – I never said they had to be long. One flew over the cukoo's nest. Is it worth watching? By god, yes. It is one of the best-acted, emotionally-tense, philosophically-minded movies I've ever seen. I avoided seeking it out for years because people told me it was depressing, and I interpreted

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-29650347403726720872011-04-17T14:13:00.002+01:002011-04-17T14:16:00.471+01:00

Is it worth watching? If you liked the other 3 Die Hards, then yes. Absolutely. Two caveats to that though: if you know anything about hacking, or computers generally, you'll find the whole angle a little silly. And if you don't like your action scenes completely overblown, be warned there's a couple of very, very silly stunts in this movie. John McClane's whole schtick seems to be

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-87459229909471633302011-04-07T16:42:00.005+01:002011-04-07T16:58:53.880+01:00

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NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-90473592343161309552010-03-18T21:01:00.000Z2010-03-18T21:02:36.810Z

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!Stranger: heyStranger: heyStranger: heyStranger: heyStranger: heyStranger: heyYou: Hey, sexy. What's up?Stranger: guess whatStranger: sexy!?!?!?!?!You: You're a giant lobster in disguise?Stranger: OMG CAN YOU SEE ME!?!?!!!You: No, I just assumed you're sexy.You: It's sexier that way.You: What?You: Or do I still have to guess?You: I have lots of

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-40892442999002387752010-01-11T20:05:00.000Z2010-01-11T20:06:50.969Z

God damn. I honestly haven't been able to think of anything to write that isn't thematically very similar to something I've writted already, or would barely last more than a paragraph. So I've decided to write any old filibustering nonsence, if only to prove to the world's RSS feeders that I'm not dead yet.If either of my readers have an idea, title or subject for a blog post they'd like me to

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-16837344155641244552009-11-20T17:15:00.004Z2010-01-11T20:32:44.782Z

Not if you phrase it like that, it isn't. So lets pick a different word… SMorPH - for Severely Mentally OR Physically Handicapped. I don’t have anything but a layman’s knowledge of psychological or genetic conditions, so I'm going to tar them all with the same brush, and just use the word 'smorph' to cover all extreme mental disorders whether caused by physical accident, substance abuse, or birth

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-62005031489501575382009-11-03T17:06:00.004Z2009-11-03T17:24:00.440Z

Another work-related post, but slightly interesting. Especially as I'm starting with an accusation.HMRC - J'accuse!!It's my contention that The Revenue are employing undercover 'spies' to call up accountancy firms, pretending to be someone with a lot of money in offshore banks. They say that they have not paid tax on the interest of that money, and are worried about getting screwed by the

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-60587589811308756682009-10-30T09:35:00.001Z2009-11-02T19:27:12.911Z

Mr. Charlton Brooker has succinctly and humorously writted something I've felt for a long time...."I bet I judge people by their skin tone all the time. It's hard not to. I grew up in a village the size of a shallot. Virtually the only black or brown faces I encountered on a regular basis were on TV, where they were portrayed as villains, heavily-accented jokes, or – occasionally – patronised as

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-38531001944451899492009-10-20T15:09:00.001+01:002009-10-20T15:13:40.331+01:00

If we live in one of a number of possible universes where every eventuality is played out in one of them, then - objective of all universes - free will could be said not to exist in any one, as each universe is merely the only possible remainder of all the others. Thus, the only possible way to exercise free will is to either copy something exactly from another universe, (both rendering the 4-

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-16045456535000497362009-10-13T17:02:00.002+01:002009-10-13T17:05:15.546+01:00

(Click image to see full version.)Made this picture / terrible joke about 4 years ago, and just found it again. Enjoy.

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-43315387270366147892009-09-27T15:14:00.002+01:002009-09-27T15:18:00.674+01:00

If you subscribe via RSS or some other god-forsaken technological devilment then you may end up with a whole load of notifications telling you I've written new stuff, when I really haven't. I'm trying to alter my blog template, and to do it effectively I need to go back and give all my posts proper titles, so they'll probably all republish. Sorry about that. Just mark them all as "read".Rgds,The

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-59262989887907953672009-09-22T19:55:00.002+01:002009-09-22T19:58:07.693+01:00

This probably won't mean much to you, but The Elder Scrolls V is in early development and should be out around 2011 (they'll announce 2010, but don't be fooled - it's probably a ruse to artificially inflate their share prices to make a quick buck). Anyway - although ES IV was beautifully easy to play, making ES III feel like an FPS crossed with an awkward set of spreadsheets, it was actually

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-70634277912603101162009-09-21T22:54:00.005+01:002009-09-22T15:11:06.773+01:00

...aka my likkle sister, who started uni a few days ago. Aww, bless :) It's going to be grim. Chin up, though. You'll laugh about something every other day at least.)It's in "not much of a particular order". Sorry.Always keep a private supply of toilet paper, your favourite condiments, a clean plate, mug, and cutlery hidden in a shoe box somewhere in your room. There will come a point, usually in

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-554288790338217752009-09-14T21:21:00.004+01:002009-09-14T21:42:07.563+01:00

I boiled up the copypasta from b3ta's QOTW (but edited a little) 'cos I thought this story should be posted elsewhere, just in case that part of the internet ever gets deleted. Here it is, in all it's stinky glory.Ladies and gentleman, this is the (presumably true) World War 2 story ofThe GermapultMy Great Granddad, Patrick “Newtie” Newton, was one of the lucky few who survived being in the front

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-61237701923259580492009-09-01T20:57:00.005+01:002009-09-02T13:10:06.161+01:00

Edinburgh diary.Warning: this is a very thorough diary. Some might say too thorough.Monday afternoon - left work. Half day. Bought myself a cracking sammich on the way home. Threw some pants, socks, t-shirts and a pair of jeans into mah bag, along with the usuals:- shampoo, deodorant, toothbrush/paste, latest issue of PCZONE, towel. A froods' got to know where his towel is. Got picked up by

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-12782662623170283882009-08-31T12:19:00.002+01:002009-09-27T15:13:54.853+01:00

I has a neato business idea, that's presumably not commercially viable for some reason, so it may be stupid but here it is:- Open an actual physical shop for online shoppin'!Cash up front, we order Anything You Want* to the branch & txt/call you when it arrives. Flat fee per item.Assuming you're an idiot, our experts (me) can do all the internetting for you.Totally confidential. Ideal for suprise

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-2748309628940475992009-08-21T18:19:00.007+01:002009-09-27T15:14:29.370+01:00

Hey cru! What's up? Just chillin, huh? Cool.Guess wut? The PRS responded to my letter! I feel like a proper growed-up now :DOn the gloomy side: They cited some case law that backs up their position: at least, on one of the issues.On the bright, happy side: the lady who replied has one of the best names I've ever heard. To begin with, I didn't believe she was a real person - it was too obviously

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-2908574970194891982009-08-04T18:02:00.004+01:002009-08-04T19:46:23.518+01:00

So the other day at work, I got a call from the PRS asking us if we require a music broadcast license. I was immediately a *little* suspicious 'cos they asked to speak to one of our 'only technically a a real company' subsidiary companies, of which we have dozens for various legal/tax reasons. But I digress: we don't broadcast any video/audio of any type, not even on our website, so I was pretty

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-58502788497213413952009-07-20T20:34:00.003+01:002009-07-20T21:10:38.876+01:00

Heee! Sorry to post again about 20 minutes after my last one, but I just looked at my webmaster 'keywords' page thingy - the thing that tells you what words people use to get to your site, and it turns out in January of this year I was Google's 2nd ranked site forthe soup bottle opener so meatyIsn't that the BEST search query ever??? THIS DUDE GETS HIS SOUP IN BOTTLES!!! Bottles that need

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-46878425030701766942009-07-20T20:11:00.005+01:002009-07-20T20:23:52.173+01:00

This weeks theme: Replacing the lyrics of popular songs to make them filthy and probably about poo. If you're not into puerility and consider it unfunny, immature and beneath you, then you should probably leave now.Who'd want their propa artistik poims to be read by a sad old poobrain like you anyway?Why does vom, suddenly appearEvery time, I drink beerJust like weeit wants to beIn my loooops i

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-80325841422813214712009-07-17T13:24:00.004+01:002009-09-27T15:19:37.910+01:00

...all about bumraping a hobo. Look - before you read this, please be aware of the following:-1) I'm not "into" any of the stuff described in this poem2) This poem is utterly disgusting. Please do not read it unless you have first seen 2girls1cup and laughed at it.3) I mean REALLY disgusting. You have been warned.4) I was ASKED to write this, and as I happen to find disgusting fictional things

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-91939757176034999752009-07-01T18:00:00.005+01:002009-07-01T18:46:46.842+01:00

Before I start with this, please be aware that the following ploy involves fraud, theft and likely one or more of the following:- arson, destruction of property, illegal restraint, violence, and tax evasion. Hence, it is very, very illegal, and I in no way recommend or condone it.Now. If you take a quick look at Royal Mail's Special Delivery service page, you'll notice that IF you send a letter/

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-64451179610615578432009-06-16T09:59:00.003+01:002009-06-16T10:22:15.785+01:00

Sorry for the pearoasts, everyone - didn't mean to spam your rss readers. I've just been rejigging and tagging some of my older, crappier posts - didn't think the technology would notice, but it did, damn it.Anyway! Hope all's well with you and/or yours. I'll be speaking to you soon. Oh my, yes. Get ready to have your shock-fuses blown, your cultural-taboo-seams burst, and your polite-discussion

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-66091641108789895922009-06-02T18:36:00.008+01:002009-09-27T15:20:38.203+01:00

Having save points IRL would be teh awesomes, but what of the moral imperatives? Eh?So lets imagine that real life comes with a set of, ooh, 15 save points, and a quicksave/quickload slot. You can restore life to a previous save point at a moments notice, whereupon your mind gets transported back in time into the body of your younger self, in whatever position & location you were in at the time,

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-7327299676231703242009-05-20T11:06:00.008+01:002009-09-27T15:23:09.501+01:00

The official 'Print-out-and-keep' book jacket cover art for the "Lords and Lady of Dragon-Sword Braveness" series.Artist: Diedra Ashthorn EDIT: The ORIGINAL and FIRST tale of TLAL of DSB is now available online as a google document, which you can edit and make better! Or here in it's original form.Author(s)'s note: Chapters in both the tales were written using the age-old literary technique of

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-35019705379996574002009-05-19T18:19:00.007+01:002009-09-27T15:24:08.590+01:00

See? Told you I had ending worked out.After a few deep breaths, one of the dwarfs nodded towards Rickorus."Why's he holding a spoon?""It's a magic spoon." said Careef, blunty."Turns flesh and bone into honey on contact" said Rickorus, matter of factly. "More painful than you'd think. So don't make me use it." he intoned, then burst into a enormous open-mouthed smile for no ascertainable

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-5217585131403437822009-05-12T18:15:00.005+01:002009-09-27T15:24:44.887+01:00

Definitely only 5 now. I've got the ending worked out.CHAPTER 4"Rickorus" hushed Careef "What happened to your potion of light?"Rickorus turned away from her, proffered his right buttock and gave it a pat."That any good?""No."He gave it a hard spank. His rump briefly glowed, then faded out."Ah. That's it for at least another hour, I'm afraid. I've got a 'see in the dark' potion around here

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-26892264614450227932009-05-11T19:53:00.006+01:002009-09-27T15:21:17.729+01:00

Another day, another automated virus update followed by a pop-up ad. I suppose it's fair enough; I didn't pay for it so I'll permit their daily futile attempts to convince me to do so. But frack me in the earhole if their adverts don't get on my bosom.What do all those people have in common? They ALL have Avira Antivir installed on their pc's! But... but... they're in different locations!!! How

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-34602794721799023282009-04-28T21:28:00.004+01:002009-04-28T21:41:20.364+01:00

The Lords and Lady of Dragon-Sword Braveness in: The adventure of the disappointing cyclops!Chapter 3 of 4. Definitely only 4. Please let it only be four. Five at most.CHAPTER 3The group turned to Shimord. "That's not my doing, you cretins!" he sneered; "did that sound like an undead cave spider to you?""A little" said Nistrote. "I bumped into a giant one once, back when I was an initiate. It

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-70558036382814820812009-04-28T19:14:00.005+01:002009-09-27T15:22:01.376+01:00

Happy 101st post, me!Only just noticed that... I should probably have done something a bit more special with my last post than copypasta an article about misdirection. On the other hand, I misdirected everyone including myself away from noticing it was the 100th post, which is probably ironic or serendipitous or something if you imagine hard.Anyway - this piece of wank vomited itself onto my

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-5687681311507337142009-04-27T18:30:00.004+01:002009-09-27T15:22:39.529+01:00

"When the researchers asked him about his devious methods--how he could steal the wallet of a man who knew he was going to have his pocket picked--they learned something surprising: Robbins said the trick worked only when he moved his free hand in an arc instead of a straight line. According to the thief, these arcs distract the eyes of his victims for a matter of milliseconds, just enough time

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-33458475940336534992009-04-21T12:30:00.003+01:002009-05-19T19:40:40.196+01:00

The Lords and Lady of Dragon-Sword Braveness in: The adventure of the disappointing cyclops!Chapters 1-2 of probably only 3 /4Author's note: All the characters and events in this short story are based on real people and situations - they will know who they are. However, this tale is basically non-canon fan fiction of another, much greater work, by the sublime Diedra Ashthorn. This is set many

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-25468969888924092512009-04-17T14:38:00.002+01:002009-09-27T15:27:40.801+01:00

About ten years ago, there was an episode of Jerry Springer where two sisters, who had some long-standing disagreement of little to no importance, were invited on to resolve to their issues. This ‘resolution’ involved an inflatable boxing ring, and a pair of novelty oversize boxing gloves each.Jerry rung the bell, and there ensued 30 seconds of the shittest most ineffectual fight you’ve ever seen

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-7594309080539222262009-04-09T18:45:00.004+01:002009-09-27T15:28:54.444+01:00

If, like me, you use Stumbleupon - and god help you if your life is so empty outside work that you do - you may have noticed upon googling nostrilsoup (sadly, all one word) that this blog has been filed under the topic of 'pornography'. This is partially my own fault, because when you're the first person to stumblethumb a website, it asks you whether or not it contains any adult content, and I

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-19676030280250318062009-04-07T20:16:00.002+01:002009-04-07T20:24:34.785+01:00

Tff. Politicians, eh?"The Israeli Army is the most moral in the world, and I know what I'm talking about because I know what took place in the former Yugoslavia, in Iraq," and added: "Of course there may be exceptions which are being talked about..."Defense Minister Ehud Barak

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-42769880014632548012009-03-25T18:27:00.001Z2009-09-27T15:41:56.341+01:00

I guess it was inevitable; destined even. I'm just sad that I didn't think of it first.Pfff!!! Those vandals are swear-word-creating geniuses.My god... just realised this is the third time I've blogged about bins. Sorry for the lack of what I must laughingly refer to as 'substance' y'all, but truth be told, the things I wanna right about - or rather the things I have written over the last 3

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-36115291675096753022009-03-06T19:51:00.005Z2009-09-27T16:20:16.304+01:00

Was just in the shop, and me and an older woman walked toward the door at the same time.I, being a gentlemen of outstanding breeding, bowed slightly and said "after you" - unfortunately I said it in a slightly sinister way. Unintended, of course - I wasn't concentrating on the "how shall I say this?" front, and it just came out slightly sinister. ly.She walked out ahead and turned left, and I

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-71392765771609516362009-02-24T22:28:00.004Z2009-02-24T22:34:05.853Z

I'm not alone.My earlier work has found support.(a bit like a bra! or rather the tits inside a bra! having newly discovered bras, that is! pff!)

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-13625893100003090982009-02-16T20:11:00.005Z2009-02-16T20:15:51.035Z

Inventions, names, and the pronunciation of the letter "W".Original Name / Modern EquivalentTelevision Set / Telly, TeeVee, The BoxAutomobile  / CarPortable Cassette Player  / WalkmanPersonal Computer  / PCFlying Machine  / PlaneVacuum Cleaner  / Hoover(tm), VacCompact Disc  / CDLong Play Viny Record  / LPWashing Machine  / Washing MachineDoes anybody else see a problem here?You'd think

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-53171734582325805192009-02-03T18:18:00.004Z2009-09-27T15:41:02.608+01:00

Remember a couple of weeks ago I was blithering about the new bins the council have started putting up around brighton? Well they've gone a fair bit further in their plan to prettify the city, by spending god-knows-how-much on covering literally everything in a sort of cold white dust.I wouldn't mind so much, except it makes a complete mockery of the hard work and money spent painting the

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-38577708720792127572009-01-27T20:12:00.004Z2009-09-27T15:29:34.325+01:00

(note to skim readers - you may ignore the hyperlinks and text in grey) When should one vocalise one's displeasure at the activities of others, and when should one keep one's big yap shut? Obviously, there are some situations when spouting one's opinion would be unkind, not appropriate, physically dangerous, or just damn annoying. To give an example, vocalising your pro-gay-marriage beliefs at a

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-1672705783132888872009-01-22T20:18:00.005Z2009-09-27T16:33:33.827+01:00

Woo, get me. I'm all web two point zero with my flash cameraphone and multimedia and that.Anyway - here's a couple of videos of fucking cute kittens I took a few months ago. They're not very good, but then what the fuck else am I going to do with them? Invite people round to my PC to watch them? Hand around my phone like some 15 year old showing his mates porn? Keep them to myself and not bother

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-34865553604284037782009-01-22T20:06:00.004Z2009-09-27T16:03:29.915+01:00

Round and about Brighton of late, little alterations to the city's appearance have been near constantly ongoing. One of the more recent changes I've noticed is the tops of the citys' bins: once solid-topped with a little riveted plate for stubbing your ciggy out, they now provide for cigarettes (and gum) with their own private compartments.Firstly - I'd be interested to see whether the average

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-59007420144971269442008-12-31T00:45:00.004Z2009-09-27T15:55:58.359+01:00

I was conversing by email with my old friend Will of Ironmongers Wrecking Crew fame recently, and – as is our wont – our conversation included all sorts of pseudo-victorian and semi-wodehousian archaic words and witticisms, to the extent that I even signed off one email with the following line…“Tally-ho, my riddle-me-ree.”…I’m not sure exactly why “my riddle-me-ree” was the moniker of choice for

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-14816626427193746382008-12-27T15:25:00.004Z2008-12-29T11:59:03.523Z

The top ten things things I want(ed) for xmas1. A Portal Gun.No - two Portal Guns. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!2. A mechanised biro with a predictive text function and a weighted gyroscope, so you only have to write the first few letters of a word, and it wobbles out the rest for you. Will also beep when you spell a word incorrectly, and cross out and write the correct spelling if needed.3. A second mouth,

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-27347019404392419622008-12-15T19:42:00.004Z2009-09-27T16:19:21.440+01:00

SCENE: INT: NIGHT - A MODERATELY-SCUMMY LINEOLEUM FLOORED LIVING ROOM. A PLASMA TV ON LOW VOLUME IS IN THE CORNER. A COFFEE TABLE BETWEEN THE SOFAS IS LITTERED WITH A DOZEN EMPTY BEER CANS, A COUPLE OF ASHTRAYS, VARIOUS EMPTY WRAPPERS, CIGARETTE ASH AND HALF-SMOKED JOINTS.Rick: (rising to stand) Anybody want anything from the shop?Si: Would you gerrus some mystery meat? (proffers assorted coins)

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-41977446340799507732008-12-05T22:19:00.004Z2009-09-27T16:11:54.917+01:00

Logitech have just shipped their billionth mouse. Their BILLIONTH. And that's just fucking logitech. It wouldn't be so bad if 1/6th of the world had a computer. But they don't.Oil = Plastic, Plastic = Sexy Wrappings for Technological Goods.Suddenly I'm pro-war and anti-environment.

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-68622174014403744342008-12-01T19:11:00.007Z2009-09-27T16:11:07.138+01:00

I heard an interesting factoid the other day. It's not empirically tested, but does form the majority view of the public when surveyed (presumably they were only presented with one or the other scenario, so as not to skew their answer by putting it in context).Say you've got a theatre ticket you've spent £20 on, and somehow you lose the ticket on the way to the theatre. Assuming it's not a show

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-46082985151932068752008-10-16T18:11:00.002+01:002009-09-27T16:10:41.421+01:00

….you see the newsagents sandwich board for your local paper, with the headline “JOBS JOBS JOBS!”, and immediately wonder what the Apple CEO has been up to in your home town.

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-38883611295115569672008-10-10T17:37:00.001+01:002009-09-27T16:07:45.091+01:00

For many years now – in fact, pretty much since the age of broadband – the evils, ignorance, stupidities and dangerousness of organised religion & it’s doctrines have been increasingly exposed to me. Conversely, Atheism – once an unthinkable illogicality, and a viewpoint I saw as wilful, defiant ignorance at best and evil at worst - has been raised in my estimation as the only rational basis

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-82106652323024627232008-10-03T12:19:00.003+01:002009-09-27T16:07:00.740+01:00

I know telling other people about your dreams is dull and self-indulgent, so don't bother pointing that out. This is more of a post to myself, so I don't forget it. You've been warned: if you carry on reading and find it boring it's your own fault for continuing.Last night, I dreamt it was my birthday, and my first girlfriend turned up, and handed me back my grandmother’s wedding ring which I’d

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-57116188064893279792008-09-30T22:31:00.007+01:002009-09-27T16:09:45.779+01:00

I’ve got over 25 years experience under my belt of going to the toilet without any help, but every so often I still manage to mess it up. Usually whilst drunk, but occasionally whilst sober and absent-minded – like I did at work today.I was busy listening to a podcast whilst passing a stool, and all was going rather well: not too much pushing required, but neither was it startlingly swift, as is

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-43889219203709288682008-09-26T17:26:00.003+01:002009-09-27T16:01:50.147+01:00

You may well remember that a couple of years back, Myself and Rick made the best movie in the universe with the shittest sound quality in the world to boot. Quite an achievement, no? (Edit: September '09 - Sadly the movie has now been lost forever due to the hosting site shutting down) Well, Rick said he wanted to make another movie, and I agreed that was a good idea. But seeing as our last

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-40480593194480041802008-09-25T18:36:00.006+01:002009-09-27T16:06:20.089+01:00

Look - I get bored at work, ok? And there's only so much internet surfing I can get away with - people walk behind me all the time, so occasionally I have to make it look like I'm working:- Usually having an MS Office document open will do the trick.T'other day, I was getting annoyed by the lack of functionality, along with the superfluous commands, that the windows "right click" menu gives you.

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-83614641175752023622008-09-25T18:16:00.005+01:002009-09-27T15:53:44.413+01:00

(or how an email recommending some podcasts to a friend got so big and in-depth that I felt all that effort was wasted on just one person) They're not just for ipods, and not strictly "broadcasting", so I don't like the word podcast. I prefer to call them “downloadable spoken-word audio files” or "DoSpWAFs" for short. The Armstrong and Miller podcast – A nice, gentle, witty, sort of “in

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-18097098476570606972008-09-20T19:11:00.005+01:002009-09-27T15:46:32.549+01:00

Does anyone else do this?I hope so for my sake, but I hope not for yours.Several times every night - well, almost every night (more on that another time) - I remember something particularly stupid, foolish, sleazy, embarrassingly revealing, pompous or generally jackassy I've said or done, which causes me a moment of such intense regret and self-hatred that my whole body literally jerks with

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-70387390347529631312008-08-31T17:09:00.004+01:002009-09-27T15:44:54.059+01:00

Sorry about that Last Post everyone... i was a little tipsy when I wrote it.The reason I suddenly went on about mushrooms is because I'd recently watched this videohttp://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/paul_stamets_on_6_ways_mushrooms_can_save_the_world.htmlIf you're at all interested in mushrooms, pest control, ecology, or just the very reason there is life on earth, you should watch it. 20mins but

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-36836557423733412502008-08-28T22:13:00.005+01:002009-09-27T15:43:37.505+01:00

So what's it all about then, eh? Life, I mean.I mean... when you REALLY get down to it, what's it all about?I think the problem lies in asking the right questions to begin with. 'What's it all about?' is a pretty stupid question. For starters; what is 'it'? What is 'life'? What is 'all'? What is 'about'?Seems to me that life is a bunch of organic hardware hard-wired to ensure it's survival and

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-91555625107653917622008-08-18T14:48:00.003+01:002009-09-27T16:18:20.493+01:00

Due to overwhelming public demand, I’ve uploaded the flowchart I mentioned in my last post. The one I planned to use to ask out the girl I fancyied. You can view it here: http://joeyjojoshabadu.googlepages.com/howtoaskoutgirlsIn other news, this is post number 69! Arf!

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-13523978415622290422008-08-15T18:18:00.009+01:002009-09-27T16:32:13.082+01:00

As I bitched about in my last post, I don’t meet women all that often. Not new women, anyway: and certainly not new, single women within a 7-year age gap of me. But a couple of weeks ago, I did meet one. A great one. She wouldn’t win Miss Universe or anything, but she has several things in her favour: She smokes roll-ups (like me :D). She gave me - gave me, to keep - a clipper lighter when I

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-15929636123095645592008-07-25T18:24:00.004+01:002008-07-25T18:37:05.404+01:00

Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I've been playing with the human brain cloud: it really is rather interesting if you're the sort of person enjoys watching Countdown.It give you a word, write down the first thing that comes to you head that seems to match it. Then see how many other people thought of that. It's really quite therapeutic and I've wasted good half-hour stretches on it.It also has a "

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-49358629497980899992008-07-22T20:36:00.006+01:002009-03-17T20:09:24.037Z

A hark back to my very first post with this little tale:-I don’t meet women very often. Not new women, anyway: and certainly not new, single women within a 7-year age gap of me, who aren’t so stupid/obese/ugly that I could only shag them...a) ...whilst on a mind-altering substanceb)... whilst in one of my rare ‘ravenously horny and would shag anything’ phasesc ) ...without knowing full-well I don

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-45519740142044315032008-07-18T20:40:00.009+01:002009-09-27T16:34:13.951+01:00

GENERALLY ACCEPTED CONVENTIONS Go read Part 1 first. I will be referring to it. No skipping ahead until you have, right? Right. Welcome back to this more general, less specific post on the peculiarities of pro wrestling. THE RULES OF LADDER MATCHES Wrestlers; perhaps because of the aforementioned thigh/elbow connecting tendon – are incapable of climbing a ladder at a rate of more than one

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-83482776661943562192008-07-17T19:42:00.003+01:002008-07-17T19:44:08.653+01:00

Yes, I'm well aware of the irony involved in making a load of new posts just 2 days after complaining I didn't have anything worthwhile writing about, so don't bother pointing that out.

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-66679899062344522522008-07-17T18:55:00.007+01:002008-07-18T18:37:31.310+01:00

THE RULES OF PRO-WRESTLING: PART 1 OF 2The world of wrestling (by which I mean ‘fake’ wrestling, to please all you dullard purists who instinctively decry it as “fake-and-therefore-crap” whenever it’s brought up) is an unusual one. For starters, it has a different law of physics to normal reality. There are also certain conventions and inevitabilities that do not occur in normal real life, but

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-14358832857582697432008-07-15T21:10:00.006+01:002009-09-27T16:15:22.095+01:00

Sorry ladies and gents; but this blog seems to have died a little death. I'm afraid I've had nothing worth writing about that isn't already available in a similar (or, usually, much better) form elsewhere. I'm not an industry-insider, I'm not near-the-top-of-my-field in anything, I'm not particularly hilarious, clever, popular or even inventive. In short - I can't bring you any useful information

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-45942785801022260382008-06-17T12:07:00.004+01:002008-08-28T23:05:18.594+01:00

Investigative Journalism Article No. 1 of 94 I saw this story by Cory Doctorow on BoingBoing the other week, about the HMRC (for yanks - that’s the British IRS,). Go read it now or the rest of this post won’t make sense. Back already? Good. I tried googling for more information on the censorship, and didn’t really find any. A few other weblogs had also linked to the HMRC page in

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-8422242586065858472008-06-10T19:14:00.006+01:002008-06-10T19:29:16.078+01:00

Some interesting facts about soccer (or “foot ball”, as the kids are calling it nowadays) that I learned by an email. --------------------------------------------------Subject: RE: Metro's Free Fantasy Euro Championship game From: Rob To: Me Sent: A little while ago I've joined the Metro's Free Fantasy Euro Championship game at http://eurofantasyfootball.metro.co.uk and I bet that my team, The

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-35839075677501602312008-05-27T19:09:00.005+01:002009-09-27T16:23:41.029+01:00

Ouch! Ow! Jesus! Would you look at what I've done again with my pouffe??Yep - that's exactly what happened to my crotch a few weeks back, if you remember. I know you can't really tell from the crappy quality of the pic, but that gash is actually 2 inches deep, and not the slightly-bleeding scratch it appears to be.Still - I FOUND THE CULPRIT. Unfortunately, the crappy quality of my camera means

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-5012759935379493482008-05-13T20:23:00.003+01:002008-05-13T20:35:41.743+01:00

I'm telling you for the last time!I saw a new side to Jerry Seinfeld on Sunday. Turns out he can actually be realy funny. I'd always thought of him as the archetypal american comedy hack - the sort of observational comedy that goes along the lines of "hey, isn't (x) a bit unusual? Why's it like that? What if other thing were like that too? *list things that indeed would be very strange if they

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-5254885910699040172008-05-07T10:23:00.002+01:002008-05-07T10:40:55.534+01:00

Hey you. Yeah you. The one reading this. That’s right, I’m talking to you. Hi! *waves* Just wondered if you could spare a couple of minutes of your life to throw away a vote? Go onnn… you only do it every 4 years – you can fit in another. But this time you don’t even have to leave your chair. Vote for my blog here:- http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/47597

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-70272498166456013062008-04-29T19:10:00.002+01:002008-04-29T19:21:45.672+01:00

Operating System Designers - Take Note!For I have an awesome (for a given value of awesome) idea. Make an o/s that adds metadata to files, that tracks their renaming history, so you're able to quickly rename them back.Also, make stuff run quicker. I can't believe you hadn't thought of that yet. Idiots. Derr.

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-2525241115950520252008-04-29T14:52:00.005+01:002009-09-27T16:22:36.449+01:00

Man… what’s the deal with everything I like on the internet? It never gets updated hardly at all. I mean… dinosaur commix and xkcd are at least updated every other day. They’re fine – I have no quibble with them. But they’re the only example of “regularly updated stuff I like” I can think of. Lolcats are updated several times a day… but frankly the meme’s gone very stale, and 85% of

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-20528364619204268322008-04-28T19:51:00.002+01:002008-04-28T20:11:54.563+01:00

People who don't see jokes. Now here’s a thing that annoys me more than it should. The air-conditioning unit in our server cupboard has broken down, so in order to stop everything overheating, we needed to keep the door open until a solution can be found. ‘A simple post-it note on the door should suffice’, I thought to myself, so I grabbed one and began writing “please leave this

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-77044377618403916382008-04-16T12:46:00.007+01:002008-04-16T13:39:08.515+01:00

Chocl8 Rain Well… if Rikk’s not going to get off his fanny and post this on his blog like he said he might, then I’m going to undermine his authoritah and post it me’self, on my blog. Which is what you’re reading now. I wrote it, anyway. So nyer. Before reading this, you should probably go and watch the first minute or so of the “Chocolate Rain” video on Youtube. For some reason it became

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-40579167421908114672008-03-15T23:22:00.004Z2008-09-25T19:41:23.148+01:00

Another email-based bit of humour that was approved of by a friend (in this case Rick) and have decided to post on here. I've also included the preceding emails to put it in some sort of context, But I've been naughty and totally posted the correspondence without rick's permission, so I'll probably be hearing from his lawyers soon.Any way. Without further ado-do-do, here is what I've been

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-13159863973766542182008-02-11T17:48:00.000Z2008-02-11T18:36:09.373Z

The tale of the mysterious crotch-wound(warning - may cause you to wrinkle-up your face and go "eew")I wasn't going to blog about this, but after some minor approval of an email I sent to Harry (quote: "it's rather good") I thought I may as well give the nation this exclusive insight into the star-spangled life of my nether regions, in this EXCLUSIVE blogcast!!! To be honest, I don't know

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-38626902781020903572008-01-28T20:56:00.002Z2009-09-27T16:35:09.868+01:00

Was’ the hap-hap, my blog-reading cru?? Don’t answer that - it’s rhetorical, and I don’t really care about your hap-haps unless they involve me or someone I know having sex or getting injured. Them’s the rules on hap-hap sharing. I just got back from a weekend in Granada:- but I won’t bore you with any of that, because no-one got injured or sexed. Instead, I’m going to irritate you with the

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-89274533242585734762008-01-11T19:25:00.000Z2008-01-11T19:35:22.696Z

ANTI-HUMOURSome of the following jokes were inspired, once again, by Nic D. I'm pretty sure - in fact, I'm certain, that many of these are not original: non-jokes have been done before, and usually rely on the most well-known jokes to 'work'. All I can assure you is that these weren't plagiarised (either that, or Nic isn't admitting it)/ What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? It

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-31709394537724972152008-01-10T16:05:00.000Z2008-01-10T16:06:38.743Z

OMG; the transient shame :( I’ve possibly just said one of the uncoolest things in the world. I’m at work, when the phone rings. “Hi; it’s John Smith here; can I talk to Jane”? Certainly he can. I put him on hold and ring Jane, who answers with “Yo! ‘sup?” Liking the cut of her Americanised, gangsta-eqsue gib, I respond with “Yo, homes. ‘sall gravy!” “what’s the dealy-o?”,

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-30251764396168134892008-01-08T17:50:00.001Z2009-09-27T16:30:30.953+01:00

Hi; I know you’ve all been mad with worry re: whether or not I’ll ever get around to writing a new, decent blog post, but fret not – I’m still here. Boy am I still here!! I’m so still here it’d make your face melt off, if it weren’t for the laws of physics also remaining exactly the same during my hiatus. So; it’s the New Year, and we all know what that means! New Years Resolutions! Here is

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-12871468600061274042007-11-02T17:36:00.001Z2008-10-06T19:20:26.497+01:00

Below is an email conversation between myself, and my old chum Nic D, who for some reason lives in Glasgow. The resulting prose amused us both, so I decided to post it here, so y’all can enjoy it. The subject of the conversation was “Let's play smack-talk for toffs!!” So Without further ado, From: MeTo: Nic D (my chum, not me)Subject: FW: Let's play smack talk for toffs!! Today's subject

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-65335664941870896492007-10-13T15:18:00.002+01:002009-06-15T18:50:55.312+01:00

No. 3 of 94 in the "Quotes that Nick likes" series.Alfred Orage, a great student of Gurdjieff, said, "If someone tells me a truth with the aim of helping me, a tonic truth, which shows me something about myself, my vanity and self love, my ego, is hurt. I resent it.If he tells me something flattering, though it may be bad for me, I am his friend for life.----"In advanced, progressive, tolerant

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-42587354346027353192007-08-10T15:11:00.001+01:002009-09-27T15:30:59.906+01:00

I have just been handed what is possibly the most disheartening and wasted opportunity for “natural poetry in advertising” I have ever seen. It’s a series of Burger King vouchers, allowing, amongst other deals, for two meals to be bought at a discount. The tagline reads:- and I swear this is true… Two can dine, for only £5.98!!!! Gah!!! Gaa-aaahhh!!!! (I physically had to hit

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-10668040895531414512007-07-16T20:44:00.003+01:002009-09-27T15:31:33.786+01:00

No. 1 of 94 in the "Nick makes demands of the world but does nothing to fulfill them" series.1. A browser plugin that copies your currently selected text, opens google in a new tab, then pastes your text (in quotes) into google and hits 'Search'. EDIT - Sept 09: Firefox and Opera now do this as standard. Not in quotes, mind - but a damn good start.2. A version of ID3TagIT that works on more than

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-77738313899300932872007-07-10T20:26:00.001+01:002008-07-23T22:30:26.900+01:00

A warning to all men with body hair.(No 1 of 94 in the "sickening personal confessions" series)Something I learned the other day, which you would do well to heed, my young padwan, is this:If you are having a long bath, with nothing else to do of an evening, and you're sitting there, idly toying with your genitals and anus, do not - I repeat - DO NOT, upon disdovering two dozen hairs sprouting

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-32263682590500870032007-06-11T20:20:00.000+01:002008-01-08T18:35:52.154Z

Two more weird co-incidences to add to the "sausage casserole" post (which you should go and read before reading any more of this, if you haven't already).Item 1. Sat in a park at night with 9 other people. Conversation turned to Corey Hain. I asked if that was the kid from the Goonies and The Lost Boys. No, that was Corey Feldman, not Corey Hain. Conversation gradually changes topic, and I get

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-51306507463002538282007-06-05T18:17:00.001+01:002009-06-15T18:54:54.876+01:00

No. 3 of 94 in the "Nick twaddles on about something that seemed like a funny idea at the time" series.Some young upstart called Calvin Harris recently made an announcement on the radio. Not content with merely stating his message, he actually went to the effort of putting his speech into song form. Not to knock him, but it was quite clear he wrote the thing in a hurry. The rhymes are not only

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-57796375324597666662007-05-16T18:44:00.000+01:002007-05-16T18:59:10.941+01:00

No. 21 of 94 in the "Nick moans about stuff" series.(This post orignally written weeks ago. Only just updated and posted, so I'm over the meloncholia expressed in the next dozen paragraphs.)Just for a change, I’m feeling a bit “down”. I won’t go into too much detail about the situation that caused it, because the memory is painful and bringing it up makes me want to shut myself in a darkened room

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-17551602965500591982007-04-30T20:31:00.001+01:002009-06-15T18:27:51.827+01:00

You don’t have to read this. It’s long, and you’re meant to be working. But if you can spare a moment or two to let me know your thoughts, I would appreciate it.I don’t know whether there’s anything in this. Even if what follows could be taken as proof that “there’s something else out there”, one gets the impression that, whatever “it” is (and if “it” is involved in what follows), “it” probably

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-44175603242118320512007-03-12T16:05:00.001Z2008-07-23T22:41:10.808+01:00

Best. News story. Today.(No 1 of 94 in the “Nick vs. Scatology” series) It was on the radio that Police are looking for an elderly couple, who have been hanging out around North St. in Brighton, and flinging poo at passers by. If there’s any higher proof that the state pension isn’t enough, I don’t know what it is. Unfortunately, the “Groups of reckless pensioners with nothing better to

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-85397875963999181872007-02-27T17:00:00.000Z2007-02-27T17:09:41.267Z

No. 1 of 94 in the "Nick's ill-thought-out solutions to relatively minor world problems" series. Do you reckon, right, that people should be forced to wear some sort of subtle indicator so you can tell whether they’re single or not? I think so, because if you ask “are you single?” at a party, it’s a bit creepy and over-keen, and you may as well be asking “can I put it in you?”. But waiting for it

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-9020317448005201922007-02-14T13:45:00.000Z2007-02-14T13:47:33.146Z

Ignore this post

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-21842572276701613642007-01-24T16:29:00.003Z2009-07-20T22:17:34.688+01:00

This week: In response to a selection of "look how cute my 1-yr old daughter is" photos, from someone a lil bit older than me, who I order stationery supplies from for my company. "Dude…. Don’t be that guy. Be proud n’ all, but cutesy black & white montages of little girls are to be shown to grannies, aunties, and-friends-of-your-spouses-who-you’

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-1169485798592942172007-01-22T16:27:00.001Z2009-06-15T18:52:21.596+01:00

In case anyone is wondering, this is a GNEIUNE POHTO of what I look like.Sorry - it's been kicking round my PC for ages, and I've only just found a use for it. Enjoy!

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-1168980882554149402007-01-16T20:00:00.000Z2007-01-16T20:54:42.670Z

No 1 of 94 in the "check out stuff I like to validate my tastes and hence existence" posts.So... you've got an MP3 player, right? If you don't, then you're just silly. Or very, very clever, in which case explain your reasoning to me. But lets assume you do have one, and lets also assume you have to travel occasionnaly? For more than 20 mins?OK.... then check these links out. They're links to

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17723475.post-1164668499194668482006-11-27T22:55:00.002Z2009-06-15T18:53:29.229+01:00

No 1 of 94 in the "Nicks Shameless Plugs" seriesCheck out the BEST MOVIE IN THE UNIVERSE!!!http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/116225Directed by Rick, voiced improvisationally by me and Rick after one viewing of the hastily-constructed silent film. The dialogue is really, really quiet - so turn your volume and speakers right up. Oh, but the sound effects and music are normal volume, so they'll be

NostrilSoupnoreply@blogger.com3